Chicken
by hannahjap
Summary: Oneshot Mello/Near semi-crack -isn't that all you need to hear..?- involving an annoyed Matt and a fairly guilable Mello. Poor things.


Matt was quite content sitting by one of the large common room windows with his gameboy in hand and the sunlight beaming down

Matt was quite content sitting by one of the large common room windows with his gameboy in hand and the sunlight beaming down on him. Mello, on the other hand, was bored. He didn't have anything much to occupy himself with and Matt was busy. Even Near was busy; sitting across the room with his jigsaw puzzle. Mello was not one to let boredom hang around him for long, and he was in a fussy mood. Which meant bad news for Matt.

Matt felt Mello sigh beside his ear and realised too late that he was about to become the victim of a rant. He saved his game in anticipation and waited impatiently.

"That boy thinks he's so wonderful," Mello said spitefully, glaring at Near from a distance. He waited for Matt to agree with him so that he could say something else that bothered him about Near. Matt, however, was not in an agreeable mood.

"No he doesn't," Matt said. "He's never acted remotely self-obsessed." If Mello wouldn't have seen it, Matt would have smirked.

"What?" Mello spat. "Of course he is! He thinks he's so perfect with his… puzzle and… perfect test results and…" Matt cut him off.

"No Mello, you're the only person who seems to think that." As he said it he realised he had entered dangerous territory. It would hopefully be worth it to watch Mello throw a hissy fit.

"I do not!" He was speaking a lot more loudly than he realised. Matt noticed that Near glanced over at the raised voice and quickly away again. It was decided. He was going to enjoy himself with this one.

"Well to be honest Mello, even if he does, it's fair enough, don't you think..? I mean, he _does_ get the best results and he _is_ the smartest one here…"

"No! He isn't!" Mello was going to strangle him in a moment if he wasn't careful, so Matt brought it back a bit. He shrugged his shoulders and looked dumbly at Mello.

"Well, then why don't you beat him at something? I mean, I know you CAN, but…" Mello had already walked off to where Near was sitting. Matt watched with partially concealed glee. Maybe, if he was really lucky, one of them would kill the other one for his amusement.

Near noticed a shadow fall over him. He tilted his head upwards to see Mello leering at him. He did not feel very hopeful that he'd come over to talk about the weather.

"Hello Mello..?" he offered with a vague frown.

"Yeah, shut up." Mello crouched down beside him so that Near didn't have to lean his head up like a cat to look at him. He looked silly when he did that. "I challenge you, Near!"

"Alright," Near said with, what he hoped was, at least, a quiet sigh. "To what..?" Mello opened his mouth to speak and then paused. He hadn't thought that far ahead.

"Uh…" He tried to find something but he couldn't think. "I'll be back in a moment."

Matt had just resumed his game and was approaching a difficult part when Mello returned to his side and nudged him. Matt jumped and, when his eyes fell back to the screen, he realised his character had died. Damn Mello. He turned to him with a scowl but the boy wasn't paying him any attention.

"Help me think up a challenge for Near," he said simply; no tears shed for Matt's video game character. Matt was sick of him for today and resolved to remove him from sight. If he could pawn him off on Near for a few hours, all the better.

"Why don't you just challenge him at chicken?" Matt muttered. "He's way too socially inept to beat you at that." Mello's face remained blank.

"What's that..?" he asked. Matt sighed. He forgot. When most of the orphanage's older population were enjoying themselves and appreciating mysteriously sourced cider, Mello was locked away studying. And Near was shut up being a shut in. This could be fun, actually.

"You have to pretend you're going to kiss the other person and wait for them to back off. Whoever backs off first is the loser." Mello grinned slyly.

"Ah, I see. You're right; there's no possible way for him to beat me at that. Thanks, Matt."

"Anytime," Matt said with an evil little smile as Mello hurried off again to the other side of the common room. This time he dropped down on the floor next to Near straight away. Near ignored him, hoping that that would make him appear invisible.

"Oh, Near…" Mello cooed. The sheer impossibility of Mello's change in tone caused Near to twitch so madly that he dropped the puzzle piece he was holding. It skittered across the floor and he felt unable to retrieve it. Instead, he stared at Mello as if he was possessed. Mello smiled warmly back at him. He was perhaps feeling a little too confident. Or, judging by Near's expression, perhaps not.

"I just wanted to apologize for a moment ago; I was being rude. I'm sorry." Near shivered.

"Did you just… say 'sorry' to me?" he asked aghast. Mello nodded.

"Yes. Why so surprised..?" His victory was assured.

"Because you've never apologized to me for anything before, and I've known you for years." Mello frowned; that was, admittedly, true, but currently inconvenient. He forced himself to smile again.

"Well… can I make it up to you somehow?" This should be perfect. Near looked at him scathingly for a moment.

"Yes…" he said at last. Mello widened his smile and narrowed his eyes in, what he assumed, was an inviting way.

"What is it..?" he asked coolly. Near cleared his throat and dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Could you… get the piece I dropped for me..?" Mello paused. It seemed he really had said it. With an internal scowl, he crawled over to where the puzzle piece had landed and slammed it down on the board for Near. "Thank you," the boy said quietly, and slotted it into place. Mello watched him for a couple of seconds as he returned to working on his jigsaw and attempting to ignore him. He was having none of it; he'd win this challenge yet. Even if Near didn't know they were playing one.

"I'm sure I can think of a better way to apologize to you, Near. I do have an awful lot to make up for after all…" Near mmhmm-ed without looking up. Although Mello couldn't see, he was slowly turning scarlet behind his curtain of hair. He couldn't actually even tell if he was getting the right impression, and he certainly didn't want to have Mello see his reaction if he was inferring him all wrong.

Mello was not going to be easily dissuaded by a total lack of cooperation. He reached out and cupped Near's chin, bringing his gaze in line with his own. At once he realised how uncomfortable he was making him and felt a rush of joy. He kept Near's face in place with one hand and slowly moved in towards him, waiting for him to pull back at any moment. As soon as he did, Mello would be able to laugh in his face and go and brag to Matt about being victorious.

Except it didn't seem to be working as he'd hoped. As he leant in to, supposedly, kiss Near; Near closed his eyes. Mello thought for a second that this was just to block him out and pretend it wasn't happening before he pulled away. But then Near pursed his lips. And he didn't try and break away from Mello's fingers. Mello halted.

He silently cursed Matt as he wondered what to do next. Matt hadn't told him what to do if the other player was so… persistent. No wait; maybe Near was just playing him too. He probably knew the game and, just like Mello, wanted to win. He didn't actually want to kiss him. He was just pressuring him into giving up first. Mello was having none of that.

Near opened one eye to see why Mello had stopped. Just as he did so, Mello leaned inwards and… paused. Their lips were only a centimetre apart.

Mello was giving him the chance to give up. _He_ certainly wasn't going to. And he knew, he just knew, that Near would. But he didn't. Near, obviously unable to stand the tension, pressed his lips against Mello's. He pushed a hand through Mello's hair and rested the other on his arm. He didn't, Mello noticed, give the impression that he was playing a game.

No wait, he thought; that's what he wants you to think. He wants you to give in and break away first because then he'll be able to lord it over you forever. Well, too bad.

Mello met Near's kiss with equal force and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist. Near, worryingly unperturbed, tangled his fingers through Mello's hair. Mello would swear he was enjoying it, but he wasn't going to fall for the act. He seemed to be the only person in the world who appreciated what a spiteful, conniving little bastard Near really was. He was exactly the sort of person to pretend to want to kiss someone he constantly went out of his way to show up, just to get them to chicken out first. Mello was not going to let him get away with it.

He leant all his weight forward and, without once parting lips, pushed Near backwards onto the floor. Near didn't even seem to mind that. Mello realised that he must be extremely dedicated to winning and that he'd have to try very hard to break him. But he could do it. Why else would Matt have encouraged him as he had..?

"Oh Near…" he moaned, breaking away from the kiss for the first time, and instantly reapplying his lips to Near's neck. "I'm so glad we're finally doing this." He eagerly awaited a stuttered reply or, even better, for Near to brush him off.

"Mello, I've waited so long to hear you say that." While the response shook him a little, Mello assured himself that his own line had been just as overdone and Near was simply acting. For someone who always seemed so quiet, he was certainly a good actor.

"Mmm." He thought desperately for what to say next. He really didn't know what you were supposed to do in this situation. Especially if it happened to be part of an elaborate challenge concocted because of your inferiority issues. He settled for "You're a lot skinnier than you look." Which was probably a bad decision; or would have been, in a real situation. Near, frighteningly enough, giggled.

"Don't," he said lightly. He smiled passively up at Mello. The picture of innocence. Mello hated that he could look so adorable and harmless; he was evil. Pure evil coated in sugar.

"Uh…" Mello really had run out of things to say now. He hadn't realised he'd have to keep pretending for so long. As his mind came up blank, he was drawn back to being consciously aware of his exact current situation.

He was on his knees leaning over Near, with his hands either side of the boy's head. Near had his arms tightly around Mello, despite the fact that they weren't actually touching in any other way. It was, to say the least, _compromising_. And the horror of it made Mello blurt out the first thing to come into his head; simply because it was probably the only thing that was going to make Near back off.

"I think we should go all the way," he said very quickly. He blushed. If that didn't work, nothing would.

"Oh…" Near mumbled. Mello suppressed a grin. He was going to win after all! Near's eyes went off to the side for a second. Then he looked back and a smile had found its way onto his face. "Alright! I always imagined it would happen sometime in the summer, but this is great! Do you want to go to your room or mine..?" As Near leaned up and attempted to kiss him again, Mello did something resembling a back flip which landed him about a foot away and upside down. Near stared at him.

"OK, dammit, I can't do it anymore I give up - you win!" Mello righted himself and folded his arms with a scowl. Near drew himself into a sitting position. He frowned.

"What do you mean 'I win'?" he asked hesitantly. Mello stared at him in horror.

"You… win chicken. Because… that was all a bluff and…" He gulped. "And… you weren't playing a game, were you?"

"Were _you_?!" Near gasped. Then he quickly cleared his throat and corrected himself. "I mean… yes. I win. That was a joke. Which I won. …yes." Mello closed his eyes tightly shut and hoped that when he opened them Near would have disappeared and he would have woken up in his bed after realising this was all a nightmare. He opened them. It wasn't.

"Why the hell did you go along with it?" he yelled at Near, who ducked into himself to avoid being shouted at.

"I didn't realise you were joking! I'm… sorry..?" Mello continued to stare at him in disbelief.

"And what did you mean by that comment anyway..? You've actually _thought about this before_?!" Near pouted and looked away.

"Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I don't have an imagination…" he muttered.

"Right," Mello said quietly, nodding. He got up and swiftly made his way out of the room.

--

That evening, Matt had finally managed to reach the last boss in his game when his bedroom door was flung open and a very angry blonde appeared in the doorway. Mello marched over to him and hit the power button on the gameboy before snatching it from Matt's hands and dropping it on the floor. Matt would have protested if he hadn't seen the look on Mello's face yet.

"Do you know how long I've been looking for you?" he snarled. Matt attempted a smile.

"Uh, h-hey Mello. A, uh, a long time..?" Mello's eye twitched.

"I've been looking for you for four straight hours! I already checked your room twice!"

"I was, um, out..?" Mello narrowed his eyes. Matt panicked. "Oh, don't blame me for what Near did - I had no idea he was going to react that way!" Mello's eyes snapped all the way open.

"How do you know what happened? You weren't there." Matt's eyes hit the floor.

"Um. Well… there are kind of windows in the common room and, well, there were sort of some people outside playing football at the time so, uh, one of them told me."

"What..?" Mello said in a frighteningly quiet voice.

"Yeah," Matt said, just as quietly.

There was a very long silence. Then Mello exploded.

"How many people know?" he screamed. Matt bit his lip.

"Oh I don't know… Thirty?"

"THIRTY!?" Matt felt a bit sorry for him, but, he reminded himself, Mello deserved it. Although maybe not this much. "This is all your fault!"

"Oh come on, Mello, it isn't all my fault-"

"Yes it is!" Mello said, stomping towards the door. "Well screw you; I'm finding the first excuse I can and getting out of here. I'm not staying here anymore and it's _your fault_!"

"You're being a drama queen!" Matt yelled, getting angry himself. Mello spun around and glowered at him.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are! You're not even fifteen until December! How would you cope on your own?"

"It's the fourth of November, Matt, don't make it sound like I've got ages before I turn fifteen. And I'll be FINE, thank you." He spun on his heel and made his way out of the room. Matt scurried over to the doorway and leaned his head out to shout at Mello's back.

"Oh yeah? Well fine, leave, but don't expect me to come running after you! Seriously; if you run off on your own and get into trouble I'm not coming to help you out. Not even if you call me up and _beg_! Not even if you're really, really hurt, Mello!"

Mello scowled to himself as he marched off. Yeah, like that was ever going to happen.


End file.
